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Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Tuesday Tidbits

Yes, my "Tuesday Tributes" have become "Tuesday Tidbits", but ya know what?  I needed a spot to share some of the hillarious writings I've unearthed this week. 

I've tried blogging before.  I've always loved to write and when I learned about blogging, well, I had to get in on that! What I've learned from my many attempts to find the perfect blog forum for me, is that I can't be confined to just one topic!  I tried the "new Mommy blog", "the couponing blog", and the "funny anecdotes about life blog", but life isn't about just one topic....so how could my blog be?!  And to be honest, I get bored.

So friends.  This blog is going to include the random things I think are worth sharing.  Recipes, home projects, crafting, parenting trials, fashion...Can you even handle the excitement!?!

Now back to the funny writings.  Shortly after my son was born I started writing about the trials and errors of being a new mom.  This was one experience I felt had to be shared.  It's a classic, and one the Mister and I will not soon forget!

Myy little family and I have been casually house-hunting the past few months. Not in the, "let's find a house to buy now" type of fashion, just simply providing new kitchens to daydream about. Boy does this past-time change when you're schlepping a 5 month old around with you!

On Saturday I loaded him up in the stroller. Hands-free and ready to rock...until we got to the first model home with the brick stair entrance. If you don't qualify house-hunting as a calorie-burning activity you've never lifted a stroller loaded with a 20 pound child and a 10 pound diaper bag up and down the stairs of 8 houses in 97 degree weather.

Needless to say, day two we went stroller-free.

Yes! This is perfect! I can balance my son on one hip while checking out the spacious downstairs guest suite. Totally unhindered while I imagine the playroom I'll create upstairs. Getting a little extra weight training while marveling over the in-room coffee bar in the master bedroom. Starting to feel it a little while surveying the backyard. And the kitchen. Oh Momma, the kitchen!

This is the kitchen I have been perfecting in my head for months. Complete with a huge island, a wives' desk! granite countertops!! A built-in range!!! Cabinets for days and day- wait. Why is my red t-shirt rapidly turning a deep shade of maroon? My son is perched on my hip and wrapping around me like a warm, wet belt. Simultaneously I hear- no we hear (my husband, the lovely sales professional showing us around, and I)- a distinct splash on the tile floor. Oh God. This isn't really happening is it?

Yes. My little cherub, angel that he is, has saturated his diaper and sprung a leak to rival Niagra Falls. Not only is my shirt noticeably damp, but a moat of liquid has now made itself very known on the model home's kitchen floor. Kimberly (that's the sales lady) looks from the puddle to me and back again.

I laugh nervously. "My diaper bag's in the car", I explain. Curses to wanting to "travel light" today! Not only has my child just peed in a model home, but I am totally unequipped to clean it up!

This is it. She's going to bring me a contract right now and force me to sign.

"That's okay", Kimberly says, with pursed lips, "the cleaners come tomorrow."

She's all smiles and laughs as we head back through the sales office and out the door.

"No problem," she claims, but I know as soon as we are in the parking lot she turned to her co-worker to recount the whole mess. So now we are "The Peers". As in, "Oh, Kimberly! Here come The Peers!" The people whose baby peed on the floor and didn't even clean it up. And you know we can never, ever go back...

Darn. I loved that kitchen.

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